I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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