my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
