so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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