He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
