So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
