Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my shit smells like andre
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
