Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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