I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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