and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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