You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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