How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
