Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
