I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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