This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
