Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
