He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
