Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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