I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
