My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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