I just threw up on my dentist
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
