he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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