fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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