Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
