you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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