she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize