Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
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