its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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