he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
