...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
