idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
