he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
