If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
