i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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