sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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