I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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