Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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