lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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