When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
