I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
