My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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