hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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