I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And then my night got REAL pukey
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
