You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
