Don't make out with my wife yet
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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