I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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