Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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