I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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