If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
