I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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