Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
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