Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
They are going to name an STD after you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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