Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
