ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
