I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize