She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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