I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
