Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
