How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
