Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
