I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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