Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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